Letter to my baby
I knew you were a little boy from the moment you were conceived but I kept it to myself. During this moment I just prayed that you would be a big healthy boy. Then I started to see the name I wanted for you everywhere. On the floor, on bottles, on little corners while I was walking, and I knew it was all meant to be, you were going to be my perfect Atlas, my love child, the baby that I hoped and waited for.
I was so excited to be your mama, to help and watch you grow and become the man you are destined to be.
Then you came into the world on April 20th, 2017 at 17:58 in the evening. You looked at me in the eyes, full of wisdom and curiosity and I knew that I was captivated, and so in love. I was so excited to be your mama, to help and watch you grow and become the man you are destined to be. Sitting in the hospital, I thought about what your life might be like. That within a year you will be walking and talking, in ten more years you will be in middle school, ten more after that in university and my heart became so full.
And so, here are some words of wisdom, of some love, of some pain and some courage.
In this life you will face many challenges, my son. But I hope that you always choose kindness and approach everything you do with passion and love.
At times life can seem cruel, but I hope that you see beauty within the chaos. Just as a rose looks beautiful, it wouldn't be what it was if it weren't for its thorns. Life, you will see, is all about balance. For every pain you feel you will have ten times more the joy. I hope you find that balance within yourself and you will see that the rest of your life will be the same.
Be brave, my son, as it takes courage to make a change in this world, and learn to love things that you don't necessarily like, it will make you stronger in the end. Never doubt yourself as you will see others will try to do that for you, prove them wrong. Treat everyone with respect and you will get the same respect in return. And if one day you show up broken, don't worry, I will be there to pick up the pieces and lift you up.
You have given my life meaning and made me whole, taught me what unconditional love and a soulmate is. Regardless of what you might experience, just know that I will ALWAYS be by your side. I will hold you close for as long as I can, and will love you forever and ever.
Photography by Cari Courtright